Dear Nancy, Please Retire. – An Open Letter To The Most Incompetent Woman In Washington

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We, the people of the United States are tired of your incompetence and think you should move on.

You have been a political hack for years, always putting party before country as far as most of us can tell. We’ve always wanted you out of Washington because your extreme ideology is dangerous, but lately every, thing you have done is a failure and a waste of our tax payer dollars.

The current string of failures started with the Mueller Report, arguably your biggest one ever at that point.

First, you and that lying fool, Adam Schiff, spent over $30 million dollars on the Mueller Report. Then you spent weeks hyping it up, saying it was going to be the biggest political story in history. Predictably, like your accomplishments since then, it led nowhere.

Most of us would’ve stopped after such a huge embarrassment, but you and the Democrats beneath your charge have no shame.

In your arrogance chose to believe that the report simply wasn’t thorough enough, or that there was something there but that Trump was extra sneaky and managed to outwit Mueller. We’ll never know what’s said in your backroom meetings with the other slime bags, but this failure just angered and emboldened you. Instead of getting back to work for the American people you moved on to an even dumber course of action.

We were shocked when you pursued him for the whole Ukraine thing.

You and that pencil-necked weasel Adam Schiff tried to muddy the waters and you did a good job of convincing your base, but the rest of us aren’t fooled. A smidge of intellectual honesty is all it takes to know that what really happened is that Trump asked Ukraine to investigate corruption and you called it unethical and corrupt and all sorts of other nonsense.

It’s unbelievable, but it’s true: Trump was impeached for asking for help in fixing corruption!

The kicker is that the Democrats forced Ukraine to do the same, but worse. Where Trump asked them for help on investigating the son of a FORMER vice-President, you forced them to help investigate Trump as part of the aforementioned Mueller investigation while Trump was a sitting President!

The best part of the whole thing, although sadly ignored by the media is that the majority of the things found in the Ukrainian investigation went on to implicate the Democrats, including that the Ukrainians actually tried to help Hillary in the election – the very thing the Democrats used the Mueller report to try to implicate Trump on, foreign interference!

You clowns uncovered proof, not evidence, that the very thing you spent two years and $30M dollars on, that Clinton was doing that in Ukraine, not Trump in Russia. Your incompetence is overwhelming!

The biggest finding in Ukraine, though, wasn’t Hillary’s cheating, it was Hunter Biden’s involvement and corruption.

What was uncovered was just an enormous mountain of corruption. Hunter Biden was getting paid over a million dollars a year simply because his dad was Vice President, and his employers at Burisma were shady individuals, not known for giving out charity.

So the natural question should be, “What were they getting in exchange?” Did the owners of Burisma use Joe Biden’s power, through Hunter Biden, to get the US to deposit money into some of the banks that they also owned? This is the popular theory and the one that makes the most sense, but you and the Democrats didn’t let Trump investigate, even though you insisted Biden did nothing wrong!

Regardless of the incomplete investigation, we know more than enough about Joe and Hunter Biden.

Hunter’s crack addiction. His sleeping with his dead brother’s widow and then cheating on her with a stripper, getting that stripper pregnant, and then refusing to pay child support – despite getting free money from Ukraine!

They’re despicable human beings, yet you and your fellow Democrats still supported them in the election! The fact that you’re one of the leading Democrats and you’re covering for this guy instead of forcing him to withdraw from the race lets us know once again that you still put politics above honor and dignity, above being a basic human being.

Just when we thought it was over, you pushed it even further.

With the majority of the dirt being dug up in Ukraine pointing at Democrats we all figured it would end. Surely you wouldn’t try to impeach Trump for asking about an investigation. Right?

I mean, you people couldn’t be that stupid, could you?

The answer is yes. Yes, you people are that stupid. Or perhaps it’s that you’re that arrogant. Or that you’re that confident that with the media’s help you’ll sway the public’s opinion enough to force Senators to vote in your favor.

All that we know at this point is that it was another colossal failure and that Trump’s approval rating actually went UP because of it.

The most embarassing part of impeachment, though, was your stupid ass pens.

You spent an undisclosed amount of taxpayer money on these gold pens along with custom made silver platters to put them on, and then proceeded to sign the imeachment papers with a ridiculous grin on your face. Whatever shred of support you had from millions of Americans you lost with this asinine publicity stunt.

Video: Nancy Pelosi doing the sad and serious work of signing the impeachment paperwork with a huge grin on her face.

The words on these expensive pens weren’t even spelled right!

And look at Maxine Waters smile and her holding the pen up in the air like a child holding a prize after you said that this was a sad and serious event. Nancy, is there anything you’ve done right this year?

We’ll also never forget your ridiculous temper tantrum at the State of the Union address.

With the impeachment vote the next day, Donald Trump gave an excellent State of the Union speech. However, what made it memorable was you ripping up your copy of the speech when he was has done.

At first it seemed like it was a spur of the moment thing, but we have video of you carefully putting small tears in the speech beforehand, preparing yourself for your big on camera moment.

It was staged, engineered for the cameras and for the headlines. It was more Democrat theater, not governance and leadership. It was an empty, worthless act but it did accomplish two things:

First, it showed that despite being eighty years old, that you’re as impulsive as a child. Trump has broken you and you have lost whatever composure and air of authority you used to have.

Second, you became a laughing stock, as these amazing memes show.

You also grossly mishandled the coronavirus response.

We wouldn’t even bring this up normally because as part of the legislative branch you shoudn’t have much to do with the response. However, because you’ve gone around criticising Trump for his actions, we then need to hold you accountable for yours.

Let’s start with the simple fact that while you were ordering your fancy pens and on your fool’s errand to impeach a President for looking into crimes, the President was forming his coronavirus task force.

And we have this video of you encouraging people to go San Francisco’s Chinatown and a few weeks later you blast Trump for not encouraging social distancing during the same time frame.

Here’s just a small string of videos of people blasting you for the same thing: bashing Trump on the coronavirus pandemic while you and the Dems are doing the same things or worse, plus a few videos of them pointing out your ridiculous attempts of using coronavirus to push your radical left wing spending agenda.

This isn’t even everything, Nancy. You have a history of epic failures, lies, stupid things you’ve said, and loads of hypocrisy.

Like this video where you say we need to pass the Obamacare bill so we can find out what’s in it, away from the ‘fog of controversy.” Nancy, you moron, we need the controversy BEFORE it’s passed because after it’s passed, it’s law. Unlike the fools in San Francisco who vote you in every year, the rest of us know basic civics.

And here’s a video of you scolding a reporter for rightfully pointing out that you absolutely hate President Trump.

And here’s a nearly hour long compilation of other times you’ve embarassed yourself and others. I can’t even watch the full thing, it’s so cringey, but it does exist.

My personal favorite of all your embarassments, though isn’t talked about very often anymore.

Remember when during the government shutdown you tried to take a government flight to Europe and the Middle East as a vacation that was thinly hidden as a CODEL, but Trump cancelled your flight? Remember how he waited until you were just about to board to do it? That was next level trolling by him and you deserve every bit of it. We actually have a full page of these memes here if you’re interested, Nancy.

There’s many more reasons and we could spend days working on this letter.

Probably weeks, actually, but it wouldn’t be polite. Our point is made that you’re a spiteful, mean spirited person with a huge losing streak over the last few years. We’d like to congratulate you and tell you that you’ve done a good job, but you haven’t. You’re just in the way, not allowing progress on anything. You obfuscate, whine, and block. Any good ideas that the Democrats do have are stifled by you and your strong arm political style. No one believes you or respects you, but you do know how to get things done and bully your way with the power you have.

Our only hope is to appeal to your sense of family. You’re 80 years old and have spent decades in Washington. Why don’t you go spend time with your grandchildren and great grandchildren? I promise you that Washington doesn’t need you and you’ll be forgotten within 3 months of leaving the office anyways.



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